On Indian Matchmaking Season 3, Rushali Rai uncovered the reason for why she struggles with love. It turns out that her parents inter-caste marriage led to a very tense atmosphere at home. She was sent away to a boarding school to spare her from the fights. Unfortunately, all this did was make her a perfectionist when it comes to romantic partners. We saw this tendency when she went cold on her filmmaker date Tushar Tyagi. After he told her he values independence from his parents, she immediately lost interest. The psychologist who brought this painful memory out into the open is very familiar with common situations like these. Also, her parents were not only intercaste but also from two very different parts of India. Let’s learn a bit more about Rushali’s parents cultures with Indian Matchmaking: Bengali and Rajput cultures explained.
Indian Matchmaking: Bengali and Rajput Cultures Explained: Worlds Apart
Rushali with her mom looking at a biodata (Netflix).
We know that Rushali’s mother is Bengali and her father is Rajput, but what does this mean? First of all, they are from different states and different castes, which makes it doubly confusing. Bengal and Rajasthan are two states in India, and there are four main castes in India with the fifth being the “untouchable” lowest class. Caste means a lot less in modern India than it used to and it is a very sensitive and taboo topic. We know that Vikash Mishra took a lot of heat for many reasons, but one that many Westerners missed was his desire for a Brahmin girl. Brahmins are the highest of the traditional four castes.
Vikash being vocal about this was taken by many to be extremely rude and classist. Lankani explains, “Yes…so hardcore Brahmins abstain from alcohol and eating meat but that guy drank and ate meat but still expressed a (soft?) preference for a Brahmin girl because he is from the Brahmin caste.” Another poster speculates that Rushali’s father, Rajeev, was from a higher caste than her mother, Nivedita. Trashandpastel says, “rajputs are considered (highly regarded) kshatriyas, and many families trace back to royalty.” Kshatriyas are from the warrior/royalty caste, below the Brahmin priestly/educator caste. The other two castes include the Vaishyas, who were landowners and merchants, and the Sudras, who are historically servants.
Indian Matchmaking: Bengali and Rajput Cultures Explained: Two States Of Being
The eastern Indian state Bengal was one of the first places in India to modernize. At one point it was believed that Bengal would become its own country, distinct from India and Pakistan. Rajasthan, which is in the north, is much more traditional. While Bengal developed ties to the British Empire in the 1600s, Rajasthan would hold out for another 200 years. In fact, Rajasthan only accepted British rule because they were too financially drained to continue being independent.
It’s obvious that these are two very different places culturally and the fact that caste was a factor too didn’t help Rushali’s parents in likely having an equal and harmonious marriage (not to mention the outside social pressures). We don’t have a lot of data to go on but some online commentators have guessed that there was family pressure too. @ithinkidonotthink has this to say: “I also see the possibility of her parents struggling to raise her without support from their families who probably disapproved of their marriage.” Even people who don’t know anything about Indian culture can relate to this. Even though Rushali got criticized for her mommy issues, she has her defenders, too.
It looks like Sima Taparia charges big fees because she knows what her clients need more than they do in helping Rushali.
We can only hope Rushali is able to rise above her tough upbringing. Hopefully she can prove that where you come from and who your parents are don’t define who you are in life.
